November 21, 2003

vote for me cuz i blowed stuff up.

yay! the rnc is finally gonna respond to all of those nasty democrats with ads to set the record straight. and, naturally, they're going to focus on bush as commander-in-chief, the fearless leader who is doing everything he can to protect us all from the evildoers.

The new commercial gives the first hint of the themes Mr. Bush's campaign is likely to press in its early days. It shows Mr. Bush, during the last State of the Union address, warning of continued threats to the nation: "Our war against terror is a contest of will, in which perseverance is power," he says after the screen flashes the words, "Some are now attacking the president for attacking the terrorists."

see, those democrats are actually sympathizing with the terrorists for disagreeing with the president's policies. they'd rather let terrorists run free and smash some more planes into some other tall buildings because, after all, those rat bastard liberals hate america. but if you stick with bush, no matter what, as long as we fight, we're winners!

With somber strings playing in the background, the commercial flashes the words "Strong and Principled Leadership" before cutting to Mr. Bush standing before members of Congress. Intended to call out the Democrats for their opposition to Mr. Bush's military strategy of pre-emptively striking those who pose threats to the nation, the screen flashes "Some call for us to retreat, putting our national security in the hands of others," then urges viewers to tell Congress "to support the president's policy of pre-emptive self defense."

pre-emptive self defense. words fail me. since we haven't found any wmds, it doesn't seem like the pre-emption was warranted. al-qaeda ties in iraq? nope. have people in the administration been wanting to invade iraq for over a decade? why, yes, they have.

i don't think any democratic candidate disagrees with attacking afghanistan. in fact, one of the biggest arguments against invading iraq was the amount of resources it would draw away from afghanistan and the war on terror. it's not like afghanistan is all rosy these days, unless you're in the heart of kabul. and none of the candidates is saying to just leave iraq in a hurry and let the place dissolve into anarchy.

for this type of ad to work, results are going to have to be shown, and talking about schools opening in basra ain't gonna cut it. if the 'body tubes' continue to come home at the rate they are now for the next few months, this swaggering tough talk will backfire. when bush takes a trip to britain and al qaeda nails british interests in istanbul, that's al qaeda's way of saying, 'hey, we're still here.' when rockets slam into hotels in the green zone again and attacks against the oil ministry occur, all of that 'bring em on' talk turns into a bad poker game where somebody bluffs and is abou to have to show a crappy hand.

oh, that's right. attacks are down 70 percent in iraq. i almost didn't notice.

if i forget where i am, i can just turn around.

i'm sure there's an ad coming down the pipeline where they use images from wednesday's speech defending the iraq war while standing in front of the patented bush blue background with text about whatever topic he's pontificating on. nothing says 'i know exactly what i'm doing' like having your location plastered repeatedly behind you.

maybe he thought the news channels' ability to put way too much text on the screen might be taken out by terrorists and wanted to make sure that people knew exactly where he was. i imagine, though, that this will pop up in an ad somewhere so we can all go, 'oooh, bush gave a speech in britain. he is a world leader.'

here's a tip, george: lose the backdrop. or, at the very least, buy a giant lcd television and play funky, hypnotising screensavers behind you. i still wouldn't agree with most of what you say, but at least i'd be distracted enough by your 'i'm cool in a 1993 way with 2003 technology' vibe to not really care.

Posted by kilgore at November 21, 2003 05:40 AM | TrackBack
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